I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
