As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
