ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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