Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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