I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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