sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
