Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize