shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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