All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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