I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
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You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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