no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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