We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
