Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
