i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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