Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
