She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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