I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
