Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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