I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
