My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
from now on my penis is your penis
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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