Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
