There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
