Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize