just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
