3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
