It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
