She announced her abortion via fbk
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
