So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
