so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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