She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
3pm strippers are depressing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
