party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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