His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
