She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
