hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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