So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
