Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think people are normalizing furries
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
