You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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