Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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