apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
