I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just tell him i said nine months
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
