belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
