Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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