10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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