What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
