it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
