watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
