Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
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Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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