Apparently you make a good broom.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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