She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
