Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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