Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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