People with herpes should wear stickers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
