Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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