it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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