Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
