I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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