office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
