I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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