i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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