i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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