you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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